Has It Really Been 6 Months

I look at all the months I have lost but and realize how much this blog has kept me on track and how crazy my life has gotten. Maybe some of that has to do with the three classes I had this last semester or stress, but I am looking forward to getting back on track.

I am striving to end this year on a good note and increase my own spirit, because I find that if I am happy with myself my outlook and attitude towards my family is happier too.

So the first step is healthier me again....I gained a few lbs back because of my Monday study sessions at Perkins so I am starting again at 142 lbs. and today I walked/ran on the treadmill again for a half an hour. Yeah Me!!!! It felt good to do that again and hopefully that can continue now that I unburied the treadmill in the garage again.

So here is to a great end of the year.

July

It has been a long time since I have looked at my monthly resolutions (partly because of the not having a computer thing), but I have just heard that I am in the hunt for a few jobs yet. I am not sure if that is a good thing, but I will take what ever I get. It is hard to think that it has been two years already and Tony has never been in a daycare situation.

On a different note though, my January resolution is still going strong (137.5 lbs) and feeling better too. I am hoping that it helps with all the walking that I am expecting to do in Disney World.

July is starting off here and the resolution is Back To The Basics. I am not sure what I was thinking of when I wrote that one, but I think that means getting back to cleaning. Now that we have more space, there is a lot more things to keep clean. I think if I get a job I for sure am going to get Merry Maids' help here LOL. Okay even if it was once a year it would help to get a deep clean right before the holiday season. Or maybe I just need to get the cleaning brushes in the kids hands, there are four little Merry Maids right there.

It is hard to think that the year is half way over, but so far it is looking good. Taking charge of life it great.

Revelation

I had a break through in the car today. It was truly a revelation of myself. I realized that I am happy with my self image right now. Yes I would like to lose a few more pounds but I am not going to lose any sleep over it or go crazy hungry either. I want to focus my time on my family and making great dinners and not fussing over the calories that might be in it. Last night would be a great example, I made a pork loin that my folks had given us (not going to pass up free food), mashed potatoes and watermelon slices (again what my folks had given us). I thought about the meal and said, "screw it". Portion control right? I started off with the watermelon and had my fill and guess what? I wasn't as hungry for the rest of the stuff. I had a slice of pork and a 1/2 cup of mash potatoes not because I was weighing out my food but because that is what satisfied me. Then when I wanted to have strawberry shortcake later, I did...I served more strawberries with the cool whip (not as many calories as ice cream) and just a bit of the cake. I realized that I just had to give into the healthier things and limit the other things.

Not making myself feel guilty about it makes it easier to pass up the things that aren't as good for you. Plus it is nice when you have a husband that has liked your image no matter how it was and now is ever so nicer with the compliments now that the earlier year struggles have payed off. Thanks Chris.

June

As school is ending with the kids, it is time for my to think of what I am going to do soon. It is hard to believe that I have been home for two years already with the kids and without the unemployment that I have been receiving it would have been extremely painful. Now that it is coming to an end I have to think about going back to work. I never say myself as a stay at home mom and it has taken me along time to get comfortable with that, and now it is time for me to look back at the job market.

I figure that if I don't start looking now that I will miss the opportunities that are out there. So I have started by updating my resume and applied district 622 and 62? (south washington). It is nice to think that I don't have to get that full time position and that we can make it if I get a part time job too. Daycare won't kill us as much now that Tony isn't consider an infant and Jayna is part time with preschool. I probably won't be making anything until Jayna gets into Kindergarten, but just to get my feet wet again in the job market would be nice too.

I won't be to sad if the search takes a bit of time unlike before when I was stressing about every rejection letter I got, because now ever rejection letter I get I get to see another day of Tony in his cute pink books. And if you missed the picture of Tony in is feet fashion check out the carvellicrew blogspot for the pictures. This little guys amazes me with his wit and brains every day and his cute little grins that searching for a job isn't as urgent as I thought it was.

So we will see what June has in store for those applications that I sent out.

May Round Up

This particular month has flown by with the weather getting nicer and school ending for the kids. I am glad to have carved out some time for Jasmine because she is growing up so fast. It seems like the only time we get now is when we are in the car. I understand when those commercials tell you to use the car to talk to your kids because they are stuck in the car with you. So far softball is fun for her and I hope that she keeps at it but I am not sure if she will continue doing it next year or not. I don't really want her to feel like she needs to because that is what I did growing up. I have to face that her love is horses and that will take center stage as she grows older and is able to participate in it more.

Softball continues for another month so at least I get to hold on to that for a bit longer and then I will lose her for a bit in July when she stays at Jerry and Pat's for a few weeks, but hopefully she comes back from that happier and more content with the family. Then it is the big Disney World trip and for sure she will be sick of the family again especially of her siblings.

Tough to think my oldest girl is going to be 12 already in a few months. AHHHHH, where does the time fly?

Jasmine Time

My girl is away for three days on a school trip (deportage) and I don't know what to do. This month has been wonderful and I love spending time with Jasmine. It is hard to believe that she is going to be 12 already in September. Where does the time go? I think helping out with her softball team is a great way to spend some quality time with her because of all the driving we have to do for the team. She comes up with some of the craziest topics to talk about in the car and I hope that stays that way.

Besides the softball games, we have had a chance to go out on the 15th for our girl time and it was fun just sitting back and letting her take the wheel (not literally yet). She comes up with the goofiest things to do. We went to Applebee's to eat and she orders a salad!!! Ha ha, the oriental chicken salad and a strawberry Lemonade. I am proud to see that she is growing into herself and more confident too.

On a side note, I was proud of all my kids the other day. We went to Wendy's to celebrate their fundraiser night and my kids were actually well behaved. They weren't the screaming kids you hear sometimes and they actually sat in their seats to eat!!! I am amazed at how they are growing up and when necessary they can get along. Funny how growing up can change sibling rivalry.

UPDATE

Okay you already know that April was a FLOP and May is starting but just to update you all....

Current weight is 137.5 down from my starting weight of 146.5 in January.

Just letting you know that I haven't forgotten about the previous months.

May!!!!

Got to love May!!!! It is getting nicer out and the kids are almost out of school and I think I will like this month's resolution better too. It is JASMINE AND ME month.

This month I am going to try and spend more quality time with her and her alone. I know it is hard for her being the oldest and everything so I hope this will help. It is going to be a little bit easier since I am helping out her softball team and therefore I can't bring kids with me to the practices. Plus I already have a night of scrapbooking scheduled for us on the 15th and I am looking forward to hitting the horse track with her too. Okay I know that sounds bad but she is really into horses and watching the cable show Jockeys. She watched the Kentucky Derby this year and knew the names and characteristics of most of the Jockeys and the names of half of the horses in the race too. She was explaining it to me. I love listening to her when she talks about stuff she really loves so horse racing is really about the animals and not the money.

Plus next month (I know it is June) we are going to join the ranks of the Twilight Saga obsession and see the next movie of the saga on the release night, so if anyone wants to brave the theaters with us YEAH!!

April a FLOP

So April came and went with nothing, notta, niltch. Not one date night and I can probably count on my hand the minutes we actually spent in the same room. Oh well I can't change other people, but hope that they are happy and only focus on myself right? I understand that Chris has been stressed out about work and over working on the house too so I have been trying to be more laid back so I may not have spent time with Chris, he did get more lonely time (Nick's terminology).

He got to spend more quality time with Ben-O and his guy pals too. I think in the past month Chris got out more alone than our entire time we have been married. Not to say that he didn't go out before but that is usually with me or with one kid or another. I understand that lonely time hard to come by with kids and when it stress out the other to be left with the kids it is easier to stay at home, but for the sake of your mental health persona time is necessary.

I know all mothers have gone through these times and some how we will survive right?

Two Weeks Left

The month is almost over and I think this one is going into the history books as a bust. How do you get a guy to change his ways if he doesn't want to? Getting any lonely time with Chris is like pulling teeth...he would rather work on his car, clean around the yard, or talk on the phone to other people. When I bring up the idea of going out, he always tells me the time will come later. I don't think I ask for much but dinner or even a walk without the kids once or twice a month but that is too much according to him with all that is going on with the house. I know he is getting burned out with all that is going on too, but so am I.

So instead I should have made this month Me, Myself, & I month because that is the only person I get to spend anytime with lately. So I am looking forward to next month already and good radiance to this month.

12 Days Into It

We are almost half way through the month and I don't have much to report of this resolution. We were blessed with time together on the 1st when we celebrated Caden's Birthday with the benefit, but I think that was the last time we had "lonely" time (Nick calls it that). We did have Easter with the family but that as all moms know is stressful, but unless it is a holiday Chris doesn't take much time off. With the building of the house we are always on the go so I don't think that is going to change right now either. I think I should have had Chris and Jessi month in July when he thought he would have more time, but who would have thought we would have this beautiful weather. This weather for sure has sped up the building process,which is good for us bad for any quality time we might want to spend together.

The blessing to the addition is that we have a hour or so to relax, but after scrambling to get the kids to sleep and other end of the night things we are TIRED. So sitting on the couch falling asleep is about it for us. At least we are in the same room right? Oh well maybe in July right?

Grocery Day and End of the Month recap

Why is grocery day like taxes? You can't avoid them and you get in trouble when you try to skip it. It always come down to the wire, but it gets done. I switched a few meals around last week but was able to make due. The chicken pot pie was a success and for sure goes on the list of re dos, but I am still looking for the yummy fried chicken recipe. This weeks grocer trip was the last of the budget friendly month but for sure I am going to go ahead with how I have planned it before. No more going into the store without a list, did it that way today and walked out with $159.00 worth of groceries and not sure what for the actual meals. I know it makes a difference because the kids are still at home during the days, but I did get a heck of a lot of junk too.

I think this month went pretty well for the budgeting part. I was able to get a few dollars back into savings and got comfortable with a limited budget for the future. With unemployment ending just around the corner I know for sure that we can survive. For next month, now that is a different story. I am not sure how I can get Chris on board to this one because he and I are up next on my list of resolutions. Remember how all those relationships experts say you are suppose to have a date night once a week? Well that is four times a month, that doesn't sound bad right? Tell that to Chris though. We will see......!!!!

Grocery Day

I knew the next week grocery week was going to be bigger since the kids have the week off of school for spring break. So when I spent $141.32 on groceries that wasn't too bad, and hopefully that will last 'til next week. I was even able to get a few treats too. I am already thinking of next week and know that that week will be easier eating wise because of Easter. The only had part about this week is that I made my weekly menu for the grocery shopping list and had miss placed that now. So I have to wing the menu from what I remember.

Now on the flip side, grocery shopping with kids is never fun, but this particular day was harder than usual because I had the silver truck. Granted it was a beautiful day but I still had to skip all the good spots and park in the boonies because of the size of this beast. Once we got through the store (1 1/2 later), I had to find room for all the groceries, at least I was thinking ahead and brought crates. This way with the crates I could put the groceries in the back of the truck without having them slide around the bed. It did help with hauling in the groceries to the house too, but I am looking forward to using the van next week. That will be a treat since I get to bring all four kids with me grocery shopping.

Tuesday's Update

Tuesday was here but unfortunately my mother's scale took a dump so I couldn't get my weekly weigh in, but I do feel better. I actually got out of the house and took a walk with the kids to the park. If you can picture my house, you will realize that every way out of here is up a killer hill, so that means a killer work out just to get to the park. My legs felt it after that walk. It was great, now I just have to motivate myself to do that everyday.

I guess things are going really well around here and my only grip is that Chris has to work so much, both at his job and at home. I can see it in the kids' faces when he comes home and goes straight to working on the house that they miss him. It is tough to try and put it into perspective for him that the front of the house isn't so dire like the addition was because now we have the space and it is getting nicer out so we can go out too. I just hope Chris doesn't burn himself out.

On the other hand I hope it doesn't burn me out either, because when he comes in for the night when it is dark out he is crashing as well as I. This with four little ones having to be put to bed, yes Jasmine too, it is a tough job for just one. For example; last night was bath night and the addition was great because now all 4 kids can get clean at once and we don't have to wait in lines, but without Chris's help it was frustrating to be in two bathrooms at once and running around the house getting the 4th what she needs too. Or when I am in the middle of folding the 5 loads of laundry in my room and Chris wants to go to bed. Instead of helping fold laundry, he lays down in it or pushes it on the floor and expects me to finish it later. Not really when it was only 8:30 at night.

Okay enough for the venting but it would be nice for once to have two parents around to deal with the kids.

Grocery Day

It's Wednesday and it was time to grocery shop. I think I am one of the few people that actually like to grocery shop. I like strolling through the aisle and looking for the best price on things, but with that said it rarely happens with two kids in tow. This week seemed promising with the weekly menu planned out and calculator in hand.

We made it through the actual store pretty fast minus Jayna's potty break. Taking advantage of Tony and Jayna's love of drinking fountains, I added up my shopping list before heading to the check out. This is my way of making sure I was within my budget. It came to 120.00 and some change. A little high but do-able in my mind I would just have to watch out the rest of the week. Upon actual check out, the price only came to $99 and some odd change. YEAH ME!!! It is a pleasant surprise, but expected when doing the preliminary add up I always round up when it comes to the price by weight items.

So now I just have to watch out for those unexpected expenses and I know those will happen for sure.

Tuesday and 2nd Attempt Follow Up

It is Tuesday and my weekly weigh in was....140.00 lbs. Not bad again and maybe I will get that motivation I need to start exercising. Hmmmmm maybe :-) Right now I just have the stairs to thank for any exercise I might get. On the other hand, my week is almost over and I guess you could say that I had to buy a few more things that weren't on my list but that is expected right?

So I knew I would have to buy milk mid week, which I did, and then there was gas, and a splurge for me on Saturday. A few girls and I got together to go see Jodi Picoult talk and of course that meant food, so I had to pay for dinner too. That stuff was okay because I planned for that and actually had money for that stuff. So to true Jessica fashion, I had to splurge on some not on my list stuff and that had to be Dairy Queen and beer. I will give you two guess of who the beer was for!!! So does that mean I really splurged on that since I am getting payed back for that well maybe.

Finally another good note was that I actually made all of my meals. Sometimes I don't feel like cooking so those are the days that I end up driving through somewhere but then the meal prep for that dinner goes to waste. So I am happy that nothing is going in the trash except a cup of leftovers here and there. Nothing compared to as before. YEAH for me on a good week.

2nd Attempt

I went grocery shopping again and this time it went better than last. I didn't forget the calculator and had a detailed shopping list. I was able to go in and walk out with $96.00 worth of groceries that will make seven meals for a family of six. Not too shabby to say so myself. Plus by making the grocery list and knowing exactly what I was buying, I was able to find an error in the bill and get a $1.25 refund. YEAH!!!! Plus that left me with a few extra bucks and we did our pizza night tonight for $9.99 at Papa Murphy's and the weekly trip to Target cost me another $20.00. I think we have started off the week okay. So I am left with $75.00 for the rest of the week and only gas for the van on the horizon. I think I can do it.

It's Tuesday

It is that day again and I went to the scales...141.5 lbs. Not bad considering I haven't exactly stayed true to healthy eating, but now that the treadmill is un-earthed from the garage I don't have that excuse anymore. I am hoping to get on it this week. I just have to find that motivation somewhere too. Maybe it is buried in the garage as well.

I have done a heck of a lot better at my March resolution. I haven't dipped into my savings or used my debit card this month. So far I have been able to stick to my budget, but that has also means I am staying at the house more. BORING!!! I guess that is fitting for me since I don't necessarily like loading up four kids to go some where.

Estimation 8-(

I finally went grocery shopping again and this time I was a little more conscience of what I was spending. I didn't throw everything into the cart that I wanted and did some estimating along the way so I knew where I was at. There only problem was that my estimations came to $134.00 for the bill but the actual bill came to $140.02 That isn't good if you are trying to stick to a budget so I guess the next time I will have to bring the calculator with me. Otherwise I haven't been spending like I usually do and spending way more time at the house because it prevents me from spending unwisely. So here to the weekend, I have $60.00 until next Wednesday. Hmmmmm, will it last?

UPDATES!!!

Tuesday is here and that meant weigh-in time, and the scale read.....139.5 lbs. I am out of the 140s and I have this addition to thank. Running up and down the stairs is really doing something for my legs. I really think that is the reason because just this morning I had to go up and down those stairs at least 5 times getting the kids ready for school and myself. Just getting out of the door is going to be a half an hour work out from now on.

February's resolution is still going strong as long as we are still moving things into the house. Chris has moved the contents of the basement upstairs and now I get to go through the stuff to figure out what we want to keep. I am not think much will be kept.

March's resolution...Tuesday...$25.00 on gas for the van. Not bad but still have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

March is HERE!!!

Okay so the start of this months resolution didn't start out the best but hey I am still moving into this addition. So as the month goes, I have almost diminished my entire life savings and hoping to do better this week or I will be looking for a job real soon.

For Real??

I got a chance to get out of the house, unfortunately it was the first night the kids got in the addition. Getting out of the house is great and a rare occasion, but wondering what the kids are doing can ruin the night too. Oh well, I still got out.

The month is at the end of it and I have to say that moving is really the only way to declutter some one's life. In just about three days we have accumulated a crazy amount of trash and we are still going. It is amazing how fast the trash can build but that is okay if we can live simpler. I can honestly say nothing is getting into this addition without my approval and our clutter is getting down there.

Next month is money matters and boy can you say money matters. In this economy every cent matters and furnishing this addition has drained any savings I have built, so in order to recoup some of that and get things back into perspective I have decided to go on a money "diet". Like my first month, I am going to have to keep track of my spending habits in hopes to figure out how to curbed it.

Also with this addition, I can get back on track with my first months ambition too. I can actually get back on the treadmill YEAH :-( So here I go AGAIN.

A Month In Review

It is hard to believe that February is almost over and I feel like I just started this month off. It is Tuesday and a day for updates. Like all ladies out there, the scale isn't always your friend. Today at my mother's for my weekly weigh in the scale read 143 lbs (up 1.5 lbs) but I am not too worried because of certain factors that have left me bloated and other fun things. So, I am not too worried about that and on the other hand. I have brought up 5 bags of donations to be picked up for Lupus tomorrow and everyday I am motivated to bring up more things. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get more upstairs because our water heater down there decided to take a leak and got a lot of stuff wet so now I have to let it dry out.

Now we are underway on the inspections again, but unfortunately Chris is running around the city as I type this trying to get a few fittings to finish up the gas air test for tomorrow or by the time I get this post done today. So I will let everyone know how that goes later on.

Follow Through

I guess that is something that needs to be worked on besides softball. Nothing frustrates me more than anything than if someone tells you that they are going to do something and then never does it. This happened to me AGAIN with Chris and this time it could have had some disastrous results. I think everyone remembers my rant when I got my speeding ticket this last fall and how it ruined my perfect record, well I guess Chris forgot that he was suppose to pay that ticket but some how remembered to pay his parking ticket.

Well long story short, I got a letter in the mail today telling me that I have not payed my ticket or appeared at my court date. Luckily I got the mail this time or who knows if I wouldn't have gotten the letter. So now in addition to running around all over the city paying bills that never got sent out in time on Monday, I get to run over to Stillwater and pay this ticket. I guess I know where this weeks grocery money is going to go.

Frustrating and somehow this is going to be my fault too!!!!

February???

February is coming to a close and what have I done? Not much but I don't feel so bad about that either. I did clean out my room and maintain some type of declutter in the addition. I haven't let too many things make their way into the new space yet, and hopefully now with the inspections happening we are moving in real soon. Otherwise I am going to lose my hair with the drama unfolding around here. Yup, I am going to do it. I am going to make that Lupus Foundation pick up date. When I originally looked at the next pick up time (27th) I thought to myself that it was so far away and I couldn't wait that long. Well truth to myself I never did make it to goodwill to drop off the bags of stuff I hauled out of my room so hanging onto it for another week isn't going to make a difference. Then for sure it is going to make it out of here because someone is actually going to take it away. So here I go making that deadline!!!

Update

Tuesday came and went and I am still at 141.5, which is nice since I had one heck of a weekend with Valentine's day and all. I am not sure how declutter month is going but for sure I am not collecting as much stuff as I use too. I am actually thowing a lot away here and there. I haven't yet tackled the basement and the poor electrical inspector got to see it at its best, but the day will come when we will have to move all the stuff. That is the good thing about moving into the addition it is going to force me to declutter one way or another.

Updates

Tuesday's Weigh In: 141.5 lbs (down 4 lbs)

I took the usual weigh in time at my mom's this week and the scale was nice and read 141.5, maybe this month I will be out of the 140s. I also can see myself rethinking what I eat. Last nights meal was pasta (my family loves that), but I know it isn't the greatest thing to eat either SO I fixed myself a baked potato instead. It was still good and I didn't have to feel icky after that. Plus tonight I have been craving a hamburger, not the icky greasy kind either, but an actual burger. So I went ahead and made burgers for the family and I am proud to say I only ate one and a couple waffle fries. Here is the kicker though...I am usually the human vacuum cleaner and I hate to see the left overs thrown away, but I threw the extra half of burger away because I asked myself...am I hungry? Nope and away it went in the trash, my former self would have ate it and then regretted it later. I have to keep asking myself those questions before I eat and not afterwards.

Now I just have to get motivated to do the decluttering...I think it helps to have a goal. So Friday when the kids are at school, I am going to drive by Goodwill and do a drop off after Jayna is in school. Okay, I know baby steps...hehe!!! As long as they are forward progress.

De Cluttering:-(

De Cluttering SUCKS....I never did get around to the kids room. I walked in and walked right back out. Instead I took Sunday to clean the addition in preparation for our carpet. I think we should just tear down the house with all the stuff in it. Don't they say if you haven't used it in the last 6 months to get rid of it. Well half of the stuff in the house we haven't used in like 6 years, so we should just junk it with the house.

Icky, Icky, Icky I am not going to let things build up next time. My motto is less is way better!!!

PROCRASTINATION

That is my middle name, the game I play. I'm still trying to get the motivation up to tackle the kids room and I can only do that one during the day because there isn't any light in the room. I looked around my kitchen and tally that one up as not going to do it until I move into the new kitchen. I pretty much use everything in the kitchen anyway. The living room is spoken for right now as the bedroom so I can't be moving anything in there too. So that leaves the master kids' room to finish off the first floor declutter. So hopefully this weekend I will get that done.

I am just going to go into the room with one big trash bag and toss it all out. I already did that really big clean back in June (remember the 7 bags of trash I hauled out of it) and that was when the kids stopped using it as their room. So everything has stayed the same in there minus a few pieces of clothing I can donate now and a whole bunch of stuffed horses. The question is....do I have to dust the place? Really since we are moving out of it right? Okay the next question is do I tell Chris that we need that dumpster now? In just that room we have two vacuum cleaners to throw out and who know how many things in the basement when I tackle that one next week.

Speaking of the basement, is it wrong of me to toss some of my husband's clothes without telling him? He still has a few boxes of clothes that he moved here from his parents' house that never got sorted out or all of his clothes down stairs that he claims he has to save because they are work clothes. I plan to be ruthless with my stuff down there so it's fair right? Everything gets slimmed down; 1 bin for winter gear -- minus the snowmobile gear, 1 bin for winter clothes, bye bye maternity clothes, 1 bin for shoes, 1 bin for summer stuff, 1 bin for books, 1 bin for school materials, and what do I do with all the "collectible" things I have saved? You know you have the same things I do...newspapers from 911, newspapers from the Twins World Series, yearbooks, but be proud of me I already burned the tin of notes from high school. I have to save my Korean memorabilia, but where do I put that?

Oh did I mention I have to clean out my pantry under the staircase in the new addition that now has become the store everything out of site spot. That is where all the extra cabinets, paint and tile got stored but that has to move to make room for food. Where does that go?

I see why people say you have to move at least once in your lives to simplify everything otherwise it just collects.

Project #1 of Declutter Month

I tackled the first project of the next month's resolution...decluttering my bedroom. Here are just a few pictures to show you the mess I was able to accumulate in 6 1/2 years in a 2x6 sq. ft area. Has anyone watched the show Hoarders? I am afraid that could be me some day. The only good thing is that I am ready to part with things. I was able to say bye bye to 1 bag of clothes, which will be more for sure once I wash all the dirty clothes from the pile of clothes you can see from the picture below. Well actually all of the them are not dirty but have been in piles since we don't have enough space for them and have fallen to the ground over time. So I am forced to wash them again.

The next picture is the shoe pile that I am going to get rid of too. My problem isn't necessarily shoes but purses and as you can see I was able to get rid of a few of them too. I am proud of my willingness to get rid of stuff. That means when I need something again, I get to go shopping!!!

My only problem is Chris...he doesn't want to take the time to look through his stuff but at the same time he doesn't trust me to get rid of the stuff that doesn't fit or work for him anymore. REALLY....we still have a few boxes of stuff that he moved out of his folks house that he swore he would look at but they still sit in our basement. Does he really think he is going to fit into those high school T-shirts anymore? I love him dearly but seriously!!!!!

End of the Month Review

It is almost the end of the month and granted that I started this project half way through the month I feel pretty good about the way it has started. I understand that portion control will always be my struggle because face it we all love to eat what we like. Plus making the healthier choices when I get the chance to eat and not fall back into bad habits. I hope to continue making meals at home and once we get to eat at the same table it will be nice to have family meals again. That is what I am looking forward to when we move.

The next month is De-Clutter Month for me, on top of this on going Healthier Me month. So I won't be posting my daily food log but instead how the declutter project goes. I will be keeping my food log but going back to the good ol' paper and pen method. So I will try to keep everyone update how life goes and I am really excited to start the declutter part because hopefully soon we are going to move. So if anyone wants any of our stuff, I will post some of the things that are still good condition that we just have to get rid of so it is up for grabs. If you can haul it you can have it, but it has to go before we move in :-)

Tuesday's Weigh In, Wk 2

I went to my mother's again for Jayna's preschool day and used it as my usual weigh in day....143lbs. As usual I had the struggles with the scale as before, but this time it was fluctuating between 142 and 143, so I will take 143 as the weigh for this week. Happy with that progress even if I haven't been doing the treadmill yet, but I have to say doing the stairs in the addition is a work out by itself too. I guess it will pay off to have the laundry on the second floor. I just hope the school nights and late night study sessions don't overtake my eating habits.

A New Chapter In Life

What a difference a week really makes in your life. I started my classes yesterday and was a bit scared before starting them because I haven't done a chat online class before. Well I have come to the realization that online classes are just like physical classes. There are still a few students that like to talk to hear themselves talk, except this time I have to read them in a chat room. It will be interesting how this works out.

I hope this time around classes will be more interesting too. Chris says this is my last time in school so do it right. I guess you can say that and two year seems like forever, but really time flies now...look January is almost over and the weather is getting warmer too. It is weird to say that I am in graduate school. The pressure is on even more to succeed because with this economy jobs are slim. My class has 21 students in it, so that means there are 21 other people to fight for jobs when I am done here. My only luck is that half of them already have jobs and need to licenses to keep them.

So I have to focus now and live one day at a time right.

Tuesday -- First Weigh In

Even after my disastrous weekend and self doubt, the scale read 144 lbs today at my folks house. So it would seem to be that I still was able to lose 1.5 lbs. Not sure how I feel about that one but I also have to mention the scale dilemma.

The first time I got on the scale it said 143 lbs and then I remembered my mom saying that you should weigh yourself twice so I stepped on it again...143 lbs again. YEAH!!! Okay just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I weighed myself again before I left...146.5 (WHAT). So I did what every person would do, I went to the bathroom and took off my hoodie. Then the scale said 144 lbs and to make sure again I weighed myself twice (144). Not to be paranoid, but then I weighed myself with the hoodie on again 146.5 and with it off again 144. So I am officially going with 144 lbs.

I know most if not all of it is water that my body is shedding but your body has to get rid of the icky stuff right? I will take it no matter what it is...1.5 lbs is better than nothing. Now I have to just keep focused and not get stressed about starting classes again.

First Weekend

I have come to the realization that I can not start this transformation if my treadmill is not down. Cutting back on what I want to eat just isn't cutting it when I don't get to see any results either. I knew from the start that exercise was needed if anything was going to happen and I knew that. Plus this weekend without Chris around was going to be extra difficult because I wouldn't have any help with the kids and you know what? That is exactly what happen, I was able to focus on getting anything healthy on the table so I resorted back to bad habits, but I did realize on thing about myself. Portion control is an issue but snacking really isn't.

I think that is why watching what I eat is so difficult. I don't snack between meals which then leaves me hungry at lunch and dinner and then I overeat then. So in actuality, my calories probably are that bad off just not eating the healthiest things. So I think if I can get those healthier things on my plate then it really wont matter if I am overeating, because I will be overeating on the healthier stuff. I think I might have to try the volumetric cookbook again. That book has great recipes because the portion sizes are HUGE. I like the healthy things too, but they are time consuming and when time is pinched fall back premade meals are easy to grab.

Final thought...after a week of eating really good, I have found that I had less headaches and as soon as I ate crap again I had a headache right away. This could be because Chris came home too :-)

Kids + Cleaning = Headache

I know kids are hardwired to hate chores. Boy do I know I did, but where is the line between slackers and being too demanding? I get to hear all about not paying your kids for chores and how chores should be enforced but in a positive way. Heck, chores are chores and even adults don't want to do them. So how am I suppose to get kids to help out?

During my girls' time away, I put together a chore chart for the kids to work with to earn rewards. Each chore has a ticket value amount and the rewards also have a ticket value. The kids get two tickets a day just for their regular morning school routine; like getting up from bed in time without whining and getting out to the bus without my constant nagging. I figured this was a good amount for Nick who likes to play video games and so forth. Plus I built in larger rewards for Jasmine to work toward like a sleep over with a friend.

My question to that one....do you think it will work out? I know there is some work on my part but if this helps me with the constant nagging for them to help around the house and helping curb the excessive video/computer game time I can suffer through the handing out the tickets. I had tried working the allowance thing like Suzie Orman said to do with Jasmine, because I don't believe just handing out money to the kids for whatever. I think there should be some responsibility to how it is earned and spent, but once Jasmine found out that she would have to work to buy things she realized quickly she didn't want to buy anything. Then she found a way to get Grandma and Grandpa to buy them or Chris would just give her money. He doesn't think kids should do chores for money.

I am not saying I am having the kids work to get their essential things in life, but if Jasmine wants a pack of gum or more Bella Sara cards, why not work then. I am not making them work to get food on the table or to have toothpaste to use, but if they want the fancy toothpaste maybe.

I figured if I tie their rewards to what they wanted to do everyday then they would maybe do a chore or two because they could get instant rewards. I hope this works because watching the dirt and grim build up is frustrating. Plus I know it will only get worse once we get into the addition. Plus I remember growing up having a list of chores that I was in charge of doing when extra help is needed and I think that is okay too. There is no reason kids can't help out when extra help is needed because something special might be happening too without getting a reward. I hope I don't fall into the dread, "well do I get a ticket for doing that" scenario.

Day Five :-(

Not the best of days when it comes to watching what I am suppose to eat, but Hey it could be worse right? Or am I really fooling myself. Everything is way more stressful when half of your partnership is gone and the responsibility of the family totally weighs on your shoulders. I know even when Chris is here I still have to do all of the cooking myself, but at least I have the help of distracting the kids. Plus Chris is my financial conscience and when he is away my wallet flies open. At least when he is home, I feel obligated to stay home and cook a meal, not get fast food.

Like tonight, I had double duty to do; to entertain the kids as well as feed them. So what do I do? I head out to a play land and grab fast food on the way there. I know I could have gotten a healthier choice meal at the fast food place, but when you have four kids yelling their orders at you and a line of people behind you wanting to order time is an issue. Don't forget the cashier taking your order that has the "welcome to Wendy's, how may I help you" monotone speech and an expression that screams kill me now or my arteries will. So I due what every typical mother does in this situation...I order as quickly as I can (making sure Jasmine doesn't get that double bacon cheeseburger she wants) and order the first thing my eyes land on, and that so happens to be my comfort, having a bad day, eat in my car chicken sandwich #7 on the menu with a coke.

Before I knew it, half my sandwich is gone and I am working through my fries, but this time I catch myself and stop on the fries AND toss the rest of my coke. But that chicken sandwich was GOOD!!! All I can say is the night was fun, and trying to squeeze myself through the play land (Eagle's Nest) obstacles was challenging but at least I did that a little. I think if I try to keep up to my kids just half of the time they spend running around, this exercise thing will be a piece of cheese(cake :-).

Day Four

Thursday...what can I say some times being a wife is just like having another kid. I know that the life of a wife isn't glorious and the things we need to do are things no one else will do. I thought it was enough to have my four kids in order...that includes clothes, baths, and eating. Why do I have to make sure my husband gets packed for HIS weekend away from the family. Frustrating how that works and then it is my fault when his clothes don't make it into HIS suitcase. I don't remember him packing my bags for my weekend away. Oh well enough venting, getting ready to move is already weighing us down.

The entire basement has become our dumping grounds but once we no no let me rephrase that I start organizing things where are we suppose to put it? The kids stuff can't go in their rooms yet and as well as the rest of the house. Isn't the purpose of cleaning is to find a spot for everything? So what happens when the spot for the stuff is in our addition, then I am left just shuffling things around and getting more frustrating as the seconds go. Plus having to do it with little kids under feet doesn't go well since Tony repeatedly shows us that stairs are still too dangerous for him. Once again when I though Chris was watching him, Tony tumbled down the stairs.

I have to let it go, because stress isn't suppose to be good on the body either. So deep breaths!!! Okay I am good again...too bad I am not suppose to have that glass of wine:-)

Day Three

Hump Day is that what they call it for the work week...well I am naming that for my starting week. Still haven't gotten on my treadmill, but I have a wonderful Aunt that has offered to watch my crazy kids for a few days a week so I can get out and exercise. (There goes my excuse now :-) Now I am hoping to schedule something out that works. I also bought the latest BL 30 jump start book and they give you some great ideas of workouts that doesn't include machines. I figure if I am really hard up I can always walk the stairs for the 10 minutes for the cardio the book suggestions.

I am going to be really creative to get this cardio in, I am motivated to get some success this year. I am not disappointed by last years results by all the means. I lost 11 lbs last year in the first two months and have kept it off even with me falling off the wagon and the holidays. So anything else I can add to that total is great.

Day Two

Okay here it is starting weight...145.5 lbs but you have to remember I am only 5'1" and shrinking folks. I think along time ago I looked at one of those BMI things and I should be somewhere around 120-130. So that is my goal (oooops task) to be 10% smaller soon and we will go from there. I think it is due able and as soon as I can get some cardio into my days we should be set.

My ideal day would be to wake up before the kids and get the cardio in, get some peace & quiet, and me time in before my day starts. I think this will help a lot toward clearing my head, and I am for sure know that will happen once the addition gets done. So until then I just have to be creative on how I am going to get the cardio in on my days. I think I am going to have to mall walk it for now. If anyone has suggestions, that would be great.

So here we go...

Day One

It is the beginning a new Dynasty. I will have to let you know where I am starting tomorrow because I don't own a scale and probably never will. I don't want to turn into a obsessive person weighing myself every time I go to the bathroom and I know that I have to ability to do just that. So I usually use the days I have to go to my mother's as weigh in days. The first day is always hard trying to change a bad habit.

I didn't get a chance to use my treadmill...okay I can't use excuses because for me it is 100% pure laziness. Looking at my treadmill and having to move my lazy boy chair and plug that darn thing in is it like asking me to climb a mountain with a boulder strapped to my back. I know I have to start doing that to ensure any progress in this journey and Jess T from scrapbooking had a wonderful idea to do the corepoweryoga thing, but I can't get pass the kid thing. My folks are leaving for the next three weeks and I can't really count on Chris to come home at a decent time, so I have to suffer through my dislike of the treadmill for now.

Happiness Eve

I just got back from a great weekend of scrapbooking and relaxing, and now I have to get prepared for my journey that starts tomorrow. Now I just have to get Chris on the same page. I came home to find that he had disappeared with two of my kids, and Jasmine didn't know where he was. It is kind of frustrating to come back to reality and see that nothing has changed and to see my detailed list of things that needed to be accomplished didn't get finished. Now Nick doesn't have his project finished for Monday and they aren't going to get any sleep either because they are stuck up in Virgina.

It was pretty much the same from all of the girls at the retreat about their husbands, but why is it that we let them off the hook or that we figure we have to live with it? I hope that I am able to refocus on my project here and get this train wreck back on course. I, for sure can, tell you after a weekend away I really missed my kids and Tony is a riot.

Snowy Days

It is never easy to do anything when you try to plan out your days. Something is always coming up like the snow today. Getting all the kids together and Chris set up for the weekend was going to be a challenge enough, but now you throw the snow into it and Yuck. Not really in the mood to set up the meals so I know the kids get meals to eat or make the lists of what Chris needs to do inorder to get the kids off to school tomorrow. On top of all the planning needed, poor Nick got one of his bloody noses in the middle of the night. So he didn't get the sleep he needed for school today. I am hoping getting into the new house helps with that too. The blowing air of the furnace really reeks havoc on the nose.

So today I still had to fun errands but didn't really feel like running to a bunch of stores with the two younger ones. So I opted to go the the versatile Target and spend a few extra dollars to get it done in all one spot only to spend more than I wanted on stuff we didn't need yet. Why does Target do that to you. It is almost like it has a way to open your wallet for you. Then I get home to find out that my IPOD doesn't work anymore. So no road tripping music for me, and I am not sure if I want to buy another one or not. I guess that can be my January Resolution reward if I stick to my plan. We will see...it just so happens that my treadmill has an ipod dock on it to listen to your music. So as I am frustrated that a $300 piece of technology doesn't work anymore, Tubby Tony gives Jayna a right hook to her face and gives her a bloody nose. Wows er we have blood everywhere. Tony is a bruiser!!

Now I guess I need to focus on my driving and making it to the the cabin for my much needed break. See you guys Sunday for the next leg of my journey.

Monday Fun Day

A typical Monday around here for me goes like this...restless night because of Tony's squawks and Chris's nightly trip to the bathroom. For some crazy reason, this night we actually got a okay nights sleep with the exception of the cold. During those moments of awareness, I would shiver and try to find the warmth in our bed. I would begin to think how nice it would be to have thermal sheets and a comforter that did look like Swiss cheese, but then I do a double check because that would cost money. Before I knew it I was awake with a long To Do list forming in my head and the darn thought of thermal sheets started it all. Thankfully my weaken eyesight doesn't let me know what time it is and I can fall back to sleep.

Unfortunately my sleepiness doesn't last as the alarm clock shouts out and Chris's failed attempted to shut it off strips the bed of all the blankets and I get a blast of cold air. WOW...now I am awake, but Chris isn't so I have to endure the alarm clock repeated attempts to wake him up as he continues to hit the snooze button. As part of my New Year's Resolution, I am going to take advantage of waking up with Chris and get a few moments of peace and quiet before the kids get up.

After I finally get warmth back under the covers, the shrill sound of Chris's phone pierces the house and wakes Baby Tony up. Pulling the covers over my head, I pray that Chris will get done in the bathroom quickly so he can deal with Tony without waking up the rest of the kids. It's 6:30am and it isn't worth going back to bed because I have to be up with the kids at 7:30 anyway, but with no where to go in the small house I go back to bed anyway.

Now my alarm clock goes off at 7:38am but it is my turn to snooze the alarm clock, but my fear of waking up the non-school kids keeps me awake. The first day back to school after a very long Christmas vacation is always the worst so I prepare myself for the worst. I gingerly walk out to the living room/bedroom and whisper "wake up time". No response as expected, but there are movements. Nick is actually in a good mood and gets dressed and going fairly well, but Jasmine is another story. AAAaaaarrrgggg she is a bear in the morning. I get a glimpse of what I use to be like in the mornings and can only wonder now how my parents got through it. Jasmine is going to be JOY to be with through the next 7 years. Pay back is a BITCH right?

I get to fight Jasmine and try to keep them quiet so the rest of the kids can sleep, not a fun task at all. After a 20 min. fight, the kids are finally out to the bus stop. YEAH, two down and the other two are still asleep, but no peace for me. Oh yeah did I mention, Chris takes this moment to call home. NOOOOO afraid the phone is going to wake the kids, I don't get a chance to talk to him in a civil manner and only after hanging up the phone realize that I have now missed my opportunity to talk to my hubby for the day :-(

Tim has just arrived to work on the addition so I don't get a chance to relax in my warm addition so I scurry back into the old house to hide out. Back to bed I get to go (not really wanting to). Cleaning is out of the question because that usually wakes the kids and we have no TV to watch. I am out of books to read and nothing to write with and I left my computer out in the addition. So there I go back the freezing tundra of our room.

Monday Fun Day starts once the other two wake up...when does Chris come home??? I am not cut out to be stay a home mom!!! That is why I have started this journey of Happiness 2010, I have to find a way to make the most of these years that I am at home and cherish them because kids are only young once.

2010 Project

Okay I know that everyone makes New Year's Resolutions and almost everyone breaks their New Year's resolution with in the first two weeks of the new year. So why am I doing this? Because I hear that goals written out and/or spoken have a greater success rate of becoming real. So actually my new year doesn't start until January 11, 2010. That is after MY weekend away or as I am now referring to it as my detox weekend. My weekend away from family and stresses of life.

After that fine weekend I have the rest of the year to look forward to, SO I am tackling this year a little different. I am officially entering the next decade of my life...the 30's and I want to change a few things in my life. I haven't officially laid things out yet but I know change is coming. This blog is 100% about me, myself, and I. I know that sounds a bit selfish, but yeah if you don't put yourself first who will right?

So hopefully the next time I blog it will be a nice detailed plan of

JESSICA CARVELLI'S HAPPINESS PROJECT 2010

Stay Tuned....